Tiredness...

There appears to be a veritable epidemic of tiredness these days. In small children this leads, quite often, to appalling behaviour and an early night much to the relief of all parties. Then there is the tiredness of extreme ill health. A bone weary, utter exhaustion, to which there is no quick fix, but resting in bed brings some small relief.
 This:

Main Entry:	tired
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	exhausted, weary
Synonyms:	all in, annoyed, asleep, beat*, bored, broken-down, burned out, collapsing, consumed, dead on one's feet, distressed, dog-tired, done for, done in, drained, drooping, droopy, drowsy, empty, enervated, exasperated, fagged, faint, fatigued, fed up*, finished, flagging, haggard, irked, irritated, jaded, narcoleptic, overtaxed, overworked, petered out, played out, pooped, prostrated, run-down, sick of, sleepy, spent, stale, tuckered out, wasted, worn, worn out

shows us how many words we could use. However a number refer to the notion that we ourselves are not tired, but that we dislike or have ceased to favour the item or the person.

Over the past year, I have literally been sick and tired. Now I am recuperating I am occasionally drooping, fatigued and dog tired. This is entirely to be expected and is remedied, as in infancy with an early night, and normal service is resumed.
The 'tired' to which I refer I think stems from an overly stressed or demanding life or even lifestyle. I have been there myself, but my recent reflections have led me to believe that we often say we are tired when we are unwilling to elucidate on how we really feel. The unwillingness to further explain may stem from not wishing to offend or, indeed, from laziness at better expressing ourselves. We may say we are tired when we are actually prevaricating about that which MUST be done. We may say we are tired, when we have NOT done that which needed doing. We might say we are tired when we actually think we are being burdened with tasks that we genuinely feel are most unfair. I think sometimes we say we are tired when we are bored!

                        Sooooo tired...

After my big thinks, I made a deal with myself. I'm not going to say I'm tired unless I really am. I'm going to say I'm struggling if I have too much to do. I'm going to get on with the inescapable tasks BUT I'm going to make darn sure that I don't say I'm tired when I've lumbered myself with jobs within my control and of my own volition - like blogging or clearing up craft things or helping with the fish, I agreed we should have.
I'm not going to hide what I really feel by saying I'm tired.

New Beginnings

Autumn has always been my time for fresh starts. My birthday falls in November and I think this is part of this. Another year older etcetera. This year, my new beginning has even more significance as I am returning to work after many months of illness and recuperation. I am returning to the school at which I have worked for the last five years. I have used my enforced time out to reflect on my practice, pedagogy and teaching style. I have also addressed issues around what is truly important and that which is not. Somewhat to my surprise, knowing how major illness can affect confidence, I am confident that the decisions I have made are the right ones.

I am really looking forward to getting back to work. I know the school really well and have had the privilege of returning to Year Three, my favourite year group in Key Stage 2. I know what topics we'll be teaching and having taught in Year Three previously, am familiar with what needs to be taught for Maths and Literacy. All this is very satisfying.
However, I do commute twenty five miles to my school in the city, and I have to ask myself if this is sustainable. It seems to me that it would make more sense to work nearer to home. Of course this would depend on someone employing me in a school nearer to the town in which I live.
Clearly I am going to have to have a plan of action. This time of new beginnings is therefore going to be a time of strategy planning and research.
No-one should worry that all my action planning and research will detract from my efforts for my class of 2011-12. It will not.

Making sure I have a work/life balance is also one of my goals and I need to do all I can to reduce serious stress in my life as this could have a profound effect on my future health. The main conclusion I have reached is that I should take responsibility for the life I lead.
The answers for me then, my friends, lie in my hands.