This week we have 105 words and must include all these words:
Aghast Aquamarine Aeroplane Acted After
Agatha stood aghast at the sight of the
tiny aeroplane,
tumbling like a falling toy, towards the aquamarine sea. She acted fast, running to the telephone, and alerting
the authorities.
After
the shock had receded, she reflected on the chances of those on board the
aircraft.
She decided to wander down to the beach. Spotting something
crawling towards the shore she stopped and looked again, shading her eyes from
the bright sunlight. It was a man. She raced over to him stumbling in her
unsuitable shoes. She knelt without regard for her shantung frock. He was
alive. " My love..." she cried weeping with relief.
OMG, brilliantly ended! What starts as a helpful bystander's story becomes so much more. Well done!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness - I never saw that ending coming. Brilliantly written.
ReplyDeleteWow! Brilliant writing, incredible ending! And it was posted so quickly following the prompt.
ReplyDeleteVery well done, Alison!
Your writing is quite expressive and you've included a lot of detail in this short piece. I felt that I could see the action in my mind as I read it.
ReplyDeleteI did have a strong reaction to one of the elements. Considering this as one who has been a wife in the past and is a mother in the present (your story could go either way), the middle seems to contradict the fact that she knew someone who could possibly be flying in a small plane.
It just feels odd to me that she wouldn't stay in shock, perhaps wandering onto the beach because of it, until she knew for sure.
Exciting stuff and an effective twist. Although, maybe its just me, but she does seem a bit emotionless until the last sentence. Maybe shes so stunned. Its niggling me a bit how much time had elapsed between the second and third sentences for the shock to recede and her to mildly wander and reflect if her 'love' was aboard ... unless she didn't know until he struggles ashore? Definitely some unanswered questions to this tale. Pity there was only 100 words. Good work.
ReplyDeleteI felt the relief of the ending which was totally unexpected as it rushed headlong to conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThis took me by surprise- I actually thought it WAS a toy plane to begin with.
ReplyDelete100 words is so few to play with; I think that you have written a really effective piece Alison- well done.(Quick off the mark too! I saw your tweet last night as I was heading to bed!) x
Fabulous ending, so much emotion with so few words. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness! What an ending! Such trauma is these 5 words this week. Many thanks for taking up the challenge A!
ReplyDelete